The Motherload: Episodes from the Brink of Motherhood
Like many, Sarah Hoover envisioned a specific future for herself, and when she left Indiana for New York City to study art history, her dreams began to take shape. She earned her degree, secured a position at a gallery, built a social circle, and connected with fascinating artists—one of whom she married. But everything changed when she became pregnant.
Suddenly, Hoover felt disconnected from her own body and alienated from her friends and husband. Overwhelmed by anxiety, fear, guilt, and shame, she struggled to find her footing. A traumatic encounter with one of her doctors intensified her distress, and when her son was born, the joy she had expected to feel simply wasn’t there.
Despite seeking help through therapy and medication, her despair lingered. Grappling with a loss of identity and seething with anger toward her baby, her husband, and herself, Hoover feared she would never escape the darkness. A diagnosis from her doctor helped her make sense of what she was experiencing—postpartum depression—and reassured her that she wasn’t a failure or a bad mother.
At its heart, The Motherload is a journey toward self-forgiveness. It challenges the cultural myth of the flawless mother and offers a raw, candid, and often humorous exploration of marriage, parenting, and life’s complexities—a refreshingly unique take on the motherhood memoir.
Like many, Sarah Hoover envisioned a specific future for herself, and when she left Indiana for New York City to study art history, her dreams began to take shape. She earned her degree, secured a position at a gallery, built a social circle, and connected with fascinating artists—one of whom she married. But everything changed when she became pregnant.
Suddenly, Hoover felt disconnected from her own body and alienated from her friends and husband. Overwhelmed by anxiety, fear, guilt, and shame, she struggled to find her footing. A traumatic encounter with one of her doctors intensified her distress, and when her son was born, the joy she had expected to feel simply wasn’t there.
Despite seeking help through therapy and medication, her despair lingered. Grappling with a loss of identity and seething with anger toward her baby, her husband, and herself, Hoover feared she would never escape the darkness. A diagnosis from her doctor helped her make sense of what she was experiencing—postpartum depression—and reassured her that she wasn’t a failure or a bad mother.
At its heart, The Motherload is a journey toward self-forgiveness. It challenges the cultural myth of the flawless mother and offers a raw, candid, and often humorous exploration of marriage, parenting, and life’s complexities—a refreshingly unique take on the motherhood memoir.
Like many, Sarah Hoover envisioned a specific future for herself, and when she left Indiana for New York City to study art history, her dreams began to take shape. She earned her degree, secured a position at a gallery, built a social circle, and connected with fascinating artists—one of whom she married. But everything changed when she became pregnant.
Suddenly, Hoover felt disconnected from her own body and alienated from her friends and husband. Overwhelmed by anxiety, fear, guilt, and shame, she struggled to find her footing. A traumatic encounter with one of her doctors intensified her distress, and when her son was born, the joy she had expected to feel simply wasn’t there.
Despite seeking help through therapy and medication, her despair lingered. Grappling with a loss of identity and seething with anger toward her baby, her husband, and herself, Hoover feared she would never escape the darkness. A diagnosis from her doctor helped her make sense of what she was experiencing—postpartum depression—and reassured her that she wasn’t a failure or a bad mother.
At its heart, The Motherload is a journey toward self-forgiveness. It challenges the cultural myth of the flawless mother and offers a raw, candid, and often humorous exploration of marriage, parenting, and life’s complexities—a refreshingly unique take on the motherhood memoir.